Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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