i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
