If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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