no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
