I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
