I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I would ride that face into the sunset
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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