But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
