No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
