Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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