if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
