got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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