I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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