It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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