i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize