The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
