why didn't you poke me back
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
