If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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