i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
