As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
