I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize