We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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