she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
