4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
