Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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