Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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