So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
