he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
