thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
