I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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