office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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