You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
