Screwed.edu
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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