when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
