Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
