He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
