sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
