Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
