i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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