Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There's always time for handjobs
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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