I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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