a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
