So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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