I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
