i jhust puked up my retainher.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
