Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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