Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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