I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
