I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I want to be your penis for a week.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
