I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
