You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
