he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
