Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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