just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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