Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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