Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
