I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
