I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Who died my cat blue again?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
