Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We have so much sex to catch up on
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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